how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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