Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
