just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
