Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
