Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
People in love make me want to vomit
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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