Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
