Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
