Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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