you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
