you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
