In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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