I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
