someone threw a dead crab at me
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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