Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
