He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
