You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
