another moral hangover. fuck.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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