im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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