didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
