Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
