the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
