so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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