margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
