i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
soo... how was my night?
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