I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
