So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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