"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
