I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize