Yo dont text me then not text me
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
