What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
