Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
