We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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