are you so shy because you have an std?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
