just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
