I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
