last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize