You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
