Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
