Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
