I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
