If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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