I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
