ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
