I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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