Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
