my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I will be naked everywhere
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
