I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize