Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
