can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
