In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
