new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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