maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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