Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
