i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
