my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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