I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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