whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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