You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
