The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
